Words by Josh Jones
Photos by Tom Oldham
Sitting in a pretty chilly, disused theatre room in a dirty East End pub in London, surrounded by rusty bikes and ancient disco equipment, ‘Sup hooked up with one of the friendliest ladies in music – Theoretical Girl. A one-man, erm, woman, act, with a bit of help from her backing band, The Equations, she delivers an amazing punky-pop-fuelled live show for what should be a much bigger audience. We had a chat over a pint – which she insisted she bought – to see what goes on in Theoretical Girl’s head.
If you’re a theoretical girl, do you live in a theoretical world?
Like that Barbie song?
No, I was thinking more like Madonna saying she was material…
Oh. Well yes I do a bit I guess. Half in the real world and half in my own little world. I have quite a serious job, so when I go to work it’s very real and can be horrible and quite depressing. When I get home it’s kind of cosy and all my musical instruments are there so get a bit lost in my own little world. I guess I inhabit both.
Have you had that question a lot?
Never. That’s the first time. You’ve started a trend.
Excellent. As you said you’ve got a normal, serious job in the day but then at night you become this be-sequined musical heroine. Is there a clash between the two?
It can clash because my day job can be quite draining. I work in a house where eight or nine teenagers come to live when things are really bad at home or if they’ve got bad mental health problems. When I’m really tired it can kind of stop you being creative. So I have to make sure I sit down with a cup of tea and relax before I can start doing any writing. I thought about writing about work, but I figured my songs would be really depressing music! And most of my stuff is fun.
When you supported Maximo Park, you had to actually take holiday from work. Are your bosses aware of what you get up to?
The word is gradually spreading among the people at work. None of the young people know though. I’m trying to keep it away from them. I’m not sure how they’d take it – they might think it was either really cool or really naff and they’d start looking me up on the internet and taking the mickey and start changing the lyrics to all my songs to something rude. It’s a real double life at the moment.
Do they give you a bit of a break and let you come in late after a gig?
No, it’s really strict. This week I’ve had a gig every night and had to work every day, it’s Thursday now so now I’m quite tired.
You’ve got a very sweet voice – you’d be excellent at reading stories to children. So where does your raw, punky hard edge come from then?
I think most people think I’m quite mild-mannered. A bit like ‘is it Spiderman? Is it mild-mannered Peter Parker? Everybody’s got their dark side, and I guess that’s where mine comes out. I also have the gentle, melodic side too, so both sides of me are there. I think it reflects the different type of music I like too – I love Nick Drake, Neil Young and
Gram Parsons and all that gentle country, folky stuff. But I also like The Fire Engines and all the 980’s post-punk girl bands and I suppose, the way I see my music is a clash of those two things: the gentle vocals and the scratchy guitar.
I like your guitar. It looks nice.
Thank you. It’s my dad’s. I’ve had a daisy rock guitar for the last three years, which is a guitar made for girls – it’s smaller and really light and a little bit sexist. But I got a lot of boys saying they like it until I tell them it’s a Daisy Rock and then they back off. It’s served me really, really well, but unfortunately recently it’s fallen apart and I can’t afford a new one, so I’ve had to borrow my dads. He’s never played it. He seems quite pleased to see me using it. I think he polishes it a lot. It’s gold.
Is your dad a millionaire?
Well, no it’s not solid gold. More a gold finish. He’s not the Sultan of Brunei.
You have a new, all girl backing group now. How hard was it finding them all?
You know what? It was really hard. I had a backing band before, with a girl called Rosie and a girl called Sam but they’ve gone off and formed their own band now (that band’s Ipso Facto FYI). So I needed a new bassist and guitarist. I did the whole MySpace bulletin thing and got loads of replies and kind of picked the people I thought were the most suited – as in nice and keen and that they were into it. I’ve got this new guitarist called Kelly who’s got this amazing look; she’s got this whole Cruela DeVille thing going on. She’s a proper punk. And I found another girl, who shall remain nameless, but she’s a professional bassist and we thought it would all be good. We had a practice the day before a gig and she disappeared. She didn’t answer our calls and no one knew where she was. So we were left really stranded for the gig. Luckily we found Julia, who picked everything up really quickly and is now a permanent member of the band.
What’s it like touring as a bunch of girls?
I’ve not done a full-length tour yet, so I don’t know what it would be like over like 30 days or something. I did a short one with Maximo Park with the old band; we all kind of just sat and read on the tour bus or listened to our music or whatever. I think with the new girls, it’ll be a bit different. They’re so full of life! We’re off to Italy and Germany.
What are you gonna do when the tours go on longer than you can take holiday for?
I’m not thinking about that at the moment! I’d really like to give up my day job though, and become Theoretical Girl full time.
What is your theory then?
Erm, my musical theory is to keep it simple, and to keep it honest and not to show off or get big headed as so many bands do. My life theory is to try not to get bogged down by the small things an always have an ambition – always have something to look forward to work towards. I’ll always have that with me whether it’s with music or something else. Like I’d like to learn to play golf or something… I wouldn’t really, that was just a random thought.
