BISHOP ALLEN ///
INTERVIEW ARYE DWORKEN ///
PHOTOGRAPHER ALLISON V SMITH ///
DATE JANUARY 27, 2004///

There's a quaint street in Boston named Bishop Allen Drive. On this block, you'll find the Saint Mary Orthodox Church, the Cambridge Community Center and the Elks Lodge, which graciously hosts Cambridge Tango Central. But more importantly, this is the block where the members of Bishop Allen formed the most disarming and unpretentious rock band to ever move into Williamsburg (and without utilizing the "the" before their name). While founding members Christian Rudder and Justin Rice have reportedly both gone to Ivy League schools (Ummm, Harvard), their music is far from over-thought and weighty. Joined by newest Allens, Christian Owens, a sweet pale blonde who is more petite than the bass she plays, and Jack Delimitraux, who sports a slight frizzy afro and a just woken-up look, Bishop Allen is a joy to the ears and quite possibly, to the world.

The self-released album, Charm School, is a shiny pop album so instantly addictive that it has sold 10,000 copies on word-of-mouth alone. Moreover, Charm School is a neatly packaged collection of 14 nostalgically Kink-y songs in an A.D.D.-friendly 38 minutes. Listen to tracks like "Eve of Destruction" and "Things Are What You Make of Them" and it's finally understood who's being charmed (you) and who's being schooled (you, once again...chump).

While Bishop Allen was on the road, which they always are, I emailed them a random list of questions to test out their knowledge of all things weighty and important. They assured me that their answers were provided without the assistance of textbooks, libraries or the Internet and while their responses were typed, I hear there was a #2 pencil close by (for inspiration).

Bishop Allen is a bowl of cereal. What kind of cereal is it?
Oatmeal. The kind you make yourself. Or Wheatabix because of the name. Whatever, actually - just not a sugary kids cereal. You've got to keep your teeth. Oh, Jack suggests sausage.

On the inside cover of the new album, the whole band is laughing. What is Bishop Allen laughing at? Is it me?
Crap. Is it that obvious? We're very sorry. Like any band, we can be clique-ish, and I guess we just got a little full of ourselves, what with the attention of the camera and the hot lights and the wine. So we did it, we laughed at you.

Who are Bishop Allen's primary influences?
The Talking Heads. Jonathan Richman. The Yummy Fur.

Casual Friday: for or against? And why?
Call in sick to work on Friday. Skip work Monday. Stop showing up Tuesday. Wednesday you know what to do. No need to be casual about it.

Should the words "la la la la la la la la la la la" be included in the lyrics of the CD booklet? Why not?
Well, those words are included in our CD booklet, so that pretty much answers that.

At the time of testing, Bishop Allen is touring for about 75 days. In essay format, please write about your favorite venues and bathrooms found along the way.
Our favorite venues are all-ages places that also serve beer. There should be more of them in New York. On the road, we usually stay with fans, and choosing a favorite bathroom would be tough. We've seen a lot of people's lotions and wouldn't want to pick winners and losers.

How often do people assume that the lead singer of Bishop Allen is named Bishop Allen?
We can't remember anyone making this mistake. But it's possible that a lot of people do, and we just don't notice. There are two people named Christian in the band, so mists of confusion surround us.

Who invented the necktie?
Abraham Lincoln. True story.

Who is the most proper and polite member of Bishop Allen? And is she single?
Her name is Jack. No. Justin did once attend a bonafide charm school called Pink Lemonade, and for one dull summer Christian took etiquette by correspondence to fulfill his high school's vocational requirement. But neither of those boys learned their lessons very well.

Have you even actually seen a #3 pencil? Or a #4, for that matter?
Never a #4. But Christian used #3s in school. The lead is harder and they keep their point longer.

Ray Davies or Dave Davies: who's a cooler person? And why?
Ray. This past New Year's Eve, C.O. [Christian Owens] was at a bar in Boston, and her favorite classic rock cover band was playing. Ray Davies was in the audience, and at the end of the band's set, he came up and sang "You Really Got Me" with them. Maybe 50 people were there. The place went crazy. Until Dave does something similar, Ray's got our vote.

Please provide a brief summary of the history of the Diocese of Brooklyn, NY.
Man, this is a tough one for a band out on the road. The encyclopedia is back at home, with our subletters. Perhaps www.historyofthedioceseofbrooklynonline.com is your readers' best bet.

Bishop Allen must cover an ironic song during their next show - which one is it?
Hey. We don't do that. When you stand up and play a song that you don't really, truly mean to play, that you don't love and cherish and carry with you always, you let the world know that you are jaded and callous and self-important. You're ribbing everyone, winking and nodding, going, "Get it? This song is a joke." Call us na?Øve, but we still believe in music.

Anything on your mind right now that you want to tell us?
We Are Scientists are in the van with us right now. They're another great New York band. ///