COACHWHIPS ///
INTERVIEW ELLIOT ARONOW ///
PHOTOGRAPHER VIRGIL PORTER ///
DATE JANUARY 12, 2004 ///

Coachwhips are truly touched. On their newest record, Bangers vs. Fuckers (Narnack), the band races through 11 songs in just over 18 minutes. The experience of listening to them evokes images of lead singer John Dwyer standing above your bed at 6am (when you're really hungover) yelling at you through a dilapidated megaphone he found outside the BART station. This is sure to please those who know Dwyer as the Pink half of noise duo, Pink and Brown (LOAD).

The Coachwhips' jagged guitar lines and pots-and-pans drumming ruffle your feathers and hit the spot on the nape of your neck that makes you tighten up and constrict your shoulders. What follows is the urge to flail your body around your cramped living room and make a complete ass out of yourself. According to reports I've heard, they actually make people do this shit in public. Their live shows have become the stuff of indie legend already (for evidence of this, check out the enhanced CD/DVD version of Bangers...). The Coachwhips' warm fuzz guitars wrap the songs up in cathartic red smears of noise and melody, while the drummer keeps it four to the floor despite the likely sound of the cymbals regularly tumbling over (see "Evil Son" and "Extinguish Me"). And don't even bother singing along, just throw some padding on the walls and close your eyes. Tight.

While the band's irreverent party program makes their live shows entirely enjoyable, it makes interviewing them quite a bitch. And so, in the interest of giving the kids what they want and keeping the non-sequiturs mercifully brief, listed below are Coachwhips' thoughts on a variety of topical matters.

On what informs their music:
Val: It starts off with a beer, followed by pills. There's very little premeditation to it.
Dwyer: Most of the time our ideas come out of nowhere. It's not like we try to write songs and they suck. But I think the bands we're influenced by are pretty apparent. You know, the White Stripes, the Hives.

On Billy Childish (of Thee Headcoats):
Dwyer: Billy Childish told me to shut up one time. He was reading poetry. Even though I really like the guy, it was terribly boring and I was talking to someone I hadn't seen in a long time. He told me to shut up and it was like when the teacher goes, "Who said that?" The room went silent and I felt like there was a spotlight on me. He was all, "Didn't you pay your 10 bucks to get in?" And I was like, "Nah, the door guy let me in for free." I never want to meet him again because I want to remember him as the guy who told me to shut up in front of a million people.

On being a musician in San Francisco and Providence:
Dwyer: They are both small harbor towns, so you get a lot of inspiration rubbing on you. In both cities, there are a lot of people who are broke and devoting time to what they really want to do. They're not looking for jobs or anything, so it makes for interesting music. People use what they have.

On what a film set to the Coachwhips' music would be about:
Dwyer: It would be a film about a guy who gets kicked out of his favorite bar, and then has the earth destroyed because he was just studying a primitive culture.
Mike: Maybe it can be about a werewolf who finds himself swimming and then fights a shark. He is nude and is actually a porno werewolf who has his twig and berries shaved. He is completely hairy but has this giant patch missing.

On the notion of contemporaries and artists they want to work with:
Dwyer: The A Frames for sure, but it's impossible to get them together since they have kids and jobs and all that. So do we, but we are bigger deadbeats. I took a month off from my kids to do this tour. I have two kids.

On the effects of children:
Dwyer: They have no effect at all. I completely ignore them and am a horrible father.

On noisy bands that used to play punk squats and college dorms playing to large crowds at 2000-person venues:
Dwyer: I am terrified to play at places like that because we will sound like shit. We wouldn't play on a stage, so that would be a problem. But, it is great for other bands. They deserve the recognition and the money. People shouldn't have to work a shit job.
Val: There is no reason to pigeonhole yourself. Those bands don't want to stay in your basement forever.

On what reaction they try to elicit from their audience:
Dwyer: If we shove them, we want them to shove us back. We want them to have as much fun as we are having. Dancing is good, but not necessary. And if you don't dance, you are a pussy.

On their role as entertainers:
Dwyer: We act like idiots all the time. It just so happens we have that "conch shell" because we are louder and amplified. ///