THE ARGUABLY ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO MAKE-OUT ALBUMS ///
BY VARIOUS WRITERS ///

Breaking up is hard to do but making out is way easier. That is, if you have the right soundtrack. And personally, we're tired of hearing people talk about their own game of tonsil-hockey accompanied by Air's Moon Safari or Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On (hello, clich?©? We bet you also buy your scented candles at the Pottery Barn (zing?)). Therefore the good people at 'Sup have asked the foxiest women we know to submit their favorite make-out record ever (because we all know it's really their opinion that matters). Some sent in the sublime, some suggested total rock, and one recommended...uh, post-punk. In-tense.

But whatever your personal taste is, we're sure you'll find something inspiring below with our Arguably Essential Guide to Make-Out Albums. Guys, take note: if one of these records don't get you some, well, there may be no hope for you.

Pavement
Slanted And Enchanted (Matador)

When I was first asked if I knew of any good make-out records, I was flooded with memories of pubescent full-tongue make-out sessions, slow dancing, the "you hang up," "no, you hang up" phone calls until 4 a.m. on a school night, and the joys of being a boy-crazy school girl. Kissing is one of my favorite things ever!

Prince's Purple Rain is an album I'd have to say was playing in the background as I rounded First base on more than a few occasions in my lifetime. I had a huge crush on Prince when I was in high school and often wished it was the little guy in a purple trench coat himself fumbling with my blouse. But I defer to Pavement's Slanted & Enchanted. I loved (and still do) this album so much that, for a good couple of years in my early 20's, I carried a copy with me everywhere I went. Something about it turns me on in a big way. I can even remember a few hot and steamy make-out sessions in my car with "Summer Babe" and "Loretta's Scars" on repeat. Tammy Ealom, Dressy Bessy

Galaxie 500
This Is Our Music (Rykodisc)

For a long time, I didn't know much about any kind of music besides hip-hop, and I didn't even know much about that either. Then one night I went home with a boy who played Galaxie 500's This is Our Music while we were sitting on his couch quite drunk and awkward. I asked, "Who is this?" and he said, "Galaxie 500," and then we made out. It was one of those moments like Postal Service's "Such Great Heights" ("I'm thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned"). He accidentally left This Is Our Music on repeat before passing out, and I was too fucked-up to either fall asleep or get up and change it, so I ended up listening to the same songs over and over all night long. Unfortunately, from then on, making out was one of the only areas where we matched up, so before long our make-out sessions started to feel nihilistic, and he started playing things like Neutral Milk Hotel's On Avery Island ("We ride rollercoasters into the ocean/we feel no emotion as we spiral down to the world and I guess it's worth your time"). For way too long, we alternately avoided each other, fought, left songs on each other's voicemail, got drunk, and made out to every wounded-boy indie record in existence until things came to a fucked-up end. So, the next time I find myself making out with someone whose albums make me happier than they do, I'll just find someone else to make out with. Young Jean Lee

Interpol
Turn on the Bright Lights (Matador)

Turn on the Bright Lights practically sounds like two lovers in heat straight away from the first song, "Untitled," with its repetitive riffs reflective of the timed breaths you take when first nuzzling the head of someone you like. The synchronicity of your inhales and exhales, as you try to find the right moment to make the next move or position yourself for the next move to be taken. Your head floats from the giddy weightlessness as it's pressed against the one next to you, while Interpol frontman,
Paul Banks, starts uttering the words "I will surprise
you sometimes..." (By the way, that's when you make the move). The album continues into a dry hump-worthy soundtrack, heavy on the rhythm to help guide you along. Not to mention that when you put in ...Bright Lights, it shows that not only are you down with modern classics, but you're also a purist who was probably into Interpol before anyone else was (even if that's not true at all,
let's pretend it was). Sarah Lewitinn, Stolen Transmissions

The Kings of Convenience
Quiet is the New Loud (Astralwerks)

The Kings of Convenience are the most non-threatening band ever. Their ovations of love are meek and docile: the indie boyband that will not protest when dumped, but rather accept your reasoning, and maybe even applaud it. They'll meet your mother. They'll buy you tampons. They'll put together all your Ikea furniture for you and not expect sex in return. Further, they're Norwegian. This is key, gentlemen. When designing the ideal make-out environment, set the ethnography in Northern Europe, the most non-combative place on this earth (see also, Switzerland: Sigur R??s, Sondre Lerche). The design for all this is to make said target feel in control, and possibly even empowered. There is no better way than to appear emasculated.

The music itself is wistful guitar pickings, gentle electronic skittering, and lyrics that sound vaguely like they've been stuffed under a locker door ("Your eyes are cold/ I know you'll tell me all/ Not to fall/ I lean against the wall"). Careful not to err too far on the side of wounded, as the Kings of Convenience often do: "And every night she kisses someone new never you" comes off as part creepy, part jealous, and wholly unattractive.

Though bland, the music is consistent; never altering pitch or texture, effectively creating a time warp wherein said target would be lulled into losing track of time, and judgment. Lauren Harris, Blender Magazine

Digable Planets
Blowout Comb (Pendulum)

Above all else, a make-out album must be both subtle and rhythmic. Subtle, because nothing kills a seduction more than the most heavy-handed attempt at turning an innocent glass of wine into a full-on couch sesh. And rhythmic, for all the right reasons. Digable Planets' Blowout Comb accomplishes both with flavor and style with a chilled-out sensuality that practically oozes out of the speakers. I mean, an album that drops the word "creamy" so many times throughout its entirety is practically begging to get made out to. But I wouldn't listen to the lyrics too closely to create a steamy mood-somehow, with all the political overtones, don't think a make-out album is what the MCs had in mind. Unless you plan on making out with Huey Newton or that Mumia guy. Jessie Bodzin, Heeb Magazine

Arcade Fire
Funeral (Merge)

Depending on how morbid you are, you might want to try making out to an album entitled Funeral. For one thing, this album can make you love life more than you ever thought possible. So be forewarned: if you're going to be swapping spit with someone who you think isn't really worth that much excitement and joy, well, you might want to hold off. They wont appreciate the giggles you get when the bass kicks in during "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)," or they might get a tad bit freaked out when you take a breath from the tonsil hockey to sing "we tried to name our babies" during "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)." However, if you're making out with someone who doesn't mind competing with the music you're listening to, then fuck if Funeral isn't just perfect. It's uplifting highs will make you want to lick your partners lips, the passionate beats will inspire you to grab your partner by the back of their head so you can lodge your tongue deep down as you slip your hand up their shirt. Oh, so sexy. Not to mention the second to last song of the album that goes "Come on, hide your lovers underneath the covers." Oh dear Canada, thank you. Sarah Lewitinn, Stolen Transmissions

Patrick Wolfe
Wind in the Wires (Tomlab)

This choice definitely has more to do with who put it on and who the make-outee was but nevertheless, after this experience, Wind in the Wires became a gift to me. After a long weekend of no sleep and after an even longer day of shopping, we put it on just in time for a nap. As it played, I got lost. This record takes you back to the sea, the countryside, and somewhere that's better than your dark bedroom at that moment.

Patrick Wolfe is a 21-year-old wunderkind from the English countryside. He's less annoying than Conor Oberst and sounds more like Tim Kasher, with earnest vocals that sound more like they're coming from a mature experienced man rather than a skinny indie boy. Patrick impressively writes and records all of his songs by himself. They're a little gloomy, daunting, pretentiously complex and yet, symphonic with lots of strings, sound effects, and dreaminess. On a hot summer day, while it was sweltering outside, we were inside with the air conditioner cranked way up, getting lost in the forest and then swimming in the sea. All the while with Patrick Wolfe. Marisa Brickman

Pink Floyd
Meddle (EMI)

One of the best make-out albums ever is definitely Pink Floyd's Meddle. It's the perfect accomplice for your dizzying tryst. The first song, "One of These Days," gets you rocking. The second track, "Pillow of Winds," is subtle, but this will allow you to take a break and talk to one another, you know, about "life" or his feelings on the Floyd. It's totally cool to get to know each other a little if you really need to. I mean, you do have a couple minutes. But don't talk over "Fearless," which is the best song on the album. It's so sexy and incredibly amazing. Hopefully, you're diggin' the experience (and you're hopefully diggin' each other too). Pretty wild, eh? You're fully makin' out to Pink Floyd. Now, "San Tropez" plays and then "Seamus." It's cool. You don't have to stop the proceedings to pay attention to the song order. Trust me. Just keeping making out. That's what David Gilmour would want you to do. But, oh, side one is over now (if not, you've got the CD on) and you can use this opportunity to take a breather anyway-so relax and let "Echoes" begin. In my opinion, it's totally OK to go straight ahead and make out during this song, too. But don't totally ignore it. Please check out the drum rolls, the sounds, the flow. Radical. OK, it's over. Great, huh? Now go put on your "Live in Pompeii" DVD and make out some more. Lesley Ishino,M Alaska!

Mogwai
Come On Die Young and Rock Action (Matador)

There's an oft-used expression in the language of love that goes something like, "words get in the way," which basically means, "shut up and fast, because I feel you best when I, you know, feel you. Here. There. Everywhere." And frankly, I like my make-out music the same way-I need it to seduce me, and I don't need all the talk. Therefore, records that are full of lyrical content are left on the shelf when a boy comes over for some heavy petting. If the prospect of an instrumental album leaves visions of Enya dancing like sugarplums through your head, fear not, reader: I'm an indie rock kind of girl myself, so it's not so much "instrumental" as it is "post-rock!" Doesn't that feel better to say and oh so modern, as well? Anyway, my go-to band for vocal-less indie turn-on tunes is Scotland's very own Mogwai. Anything by Mogwai works pretty well, but I'd heavily recommend either 1999's Come On Die Young or 2001's Rock Action. Both albums are more textured than the band's earlier material, incorporating strings, glockenspiels, keyboards, and heavenly, guitar-driven drones that sound as if they're on an escalator ride up to space. Rock Action has some vocals, but they're not very annoying, nor do they get in the way of the sonic sand castles that the band builds up only to totally destroy five minutes and 38 seconds into the song. Oh yeah, and that's the other great thing about a Mogwai album: the songs are all usually upwards of eight to ten minutes long, which means you don't have to worry about the album finishing before you do. Jen Appel, Illumina and Press Here Publicity

Portishead
Dummy (London Records)

This album is just packed with all around, mid '90's make out jams. You can't really beat the combination of chilling strings and slow trip-hop beats beneath the inspiring, angelic voice of Bristol's Beth Gibbons. On the song "Glory Box" she pleads, "Give me a reason to love you/ I just want to be a woman," and on "Sour Times" she croons, "Nobody loves me, it's true. Not like you do." This album is just down right lonely and sad, dark and mysterious, and musically, ahead of its time. By combining more samples than are possibly traceable, with some soft scratching to compliment the production, this album nods its head to a mix of many different musical genres from classical to hip-hop. The result is something that successfully pulls the listener through its highs and lows, sometimes within the same note. But as depressing and melancholy as it can be, there's something intolerably sexy about it all and you can't help but make out to it. So even if it does bring you back to the days of making out in some dorm room somewhere circa 1995, I think this record is a timeless make-out must-have. All you players out there need to keep this one in heavy rotation because, despite what you've heard, the Brits really do know how to do it better. Jaclyn Marinese

R.Kelly
TP.2 (BMG)

Latent homosexual? Perhaps. Idiot savant? Likely. But if you still love R. Kelly (ladies, you know who you are), then you know the power of this record.

"Just an R&B thug babe/Trying to get some ass, babe/Do you wanna date, baby?" Undoubtedly, Kelly's keeping it real with you and, yet, respecting you at the same time. Sure he wants to hit that ass-what thug wouldn't?-but he's down to take you out first. Only if you want to, I mean, you know, no pressure. Holla.

R. is a man who doesn't believe in preventing what's on his mind from coming out of his mouth. Where Barry White might say, "Your sweetness is my weakness," R. would tell you "Girl I hope you can hang, cause I'm horny as hell tonight." While lyrics like these might at first seem offensive to a feminist such as myself, the R&B golden boy kicks it with such honesty and earnestness, that one can't help but respect the man for just trying to make his way.

R. is a modern poet, a master of simile: "Ya body's cut like my jewelry." He's the master of imagery: "Like kissin' you in an all white tux." On "A Woman's Threat," R. takes on the role of a woman whose man has been messing around. It's an amazing song, really brilliant, and became the basis for Jay-Z's "Threats" on The Black Album. That's the thing about R.-just when you think he's headed for the Jacuzzi, a bottle of Cris in hand, you on one arm, yo' sister on the other, he'll throw down on a metaphorical jam that will truly blow your mind. Hesta Prynne, Northern State
The Jesus and Mary Chain
21 Singles (Rhino)

The lights are off, with just the moonlight, or the glow of the motion-detector light of P.S. 105 across the street, shining in on my bed, when I'm getting friendly with someone special, or just someone conveniently there: what do I want to listen to? I don't want any crooning or puss emotional singer-songwriter pap. I want ear-splitting feedback, wearily sexy vocals, and thumping drums. Where to go for a good nine minutes of fucking feedback leading into dark melodic pop perfect for groping in the dark? 21 Singles opens with the one-two-three shot of "Upside Down," "Never Understand," and "You Trip Me Up," and then throws you completely off-guard with the beauty of "Just Like Honey."

The next group of more mellow, melodic tunes are pulled from Darklands, leading into the sexy swagger of Barbed Wire Kisses' "Sidewalking," with one of the hottest bass lines Douglas Hart ever put down for the J&MC. Then we head into the tracks from Automatic, leading off with "Blues From a Gun," with the line "and your kiss kiss kiss was never gonna blow me away." By this time some article of clothing should be off, otherwise the majesty of the record is totally escaping whomever I'm making out with, signaling that I should really cut this short now, 'cause it's not going to end well. If we make it past that first test, it's just cruising until we hit "Reverence"-"I wanna die go see Paradise," makes a lot of sense at this point. By the time we get to the Hope Sandoval duet, "Sometimes Always," blankets should be off the bed. Then we've got the easy groove of "Come On" to get ready for the balls-out thumping of "I Hate Rock n Roll." 21 Singles clocks in at just about 73 minutes, but if expectations are high, and final track "I Love Rock n Roll," does it's job, it'll serve you well to set the record to repeat. "Upside Down" sounds just as good at the beginning of a make-out session as it does when that session is reaching, shall we say, the next level. Christen Thomas

Led Zeppelin
II (Atlantic)

There are a handful of songs that, when I hear them, transport me to another place, where my limbs flow in unison with some giant music goddess playing songs for
us to make love by.

I was roughly nine. Whenever I heard the song, Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love," I'd swivel my hips, put my imaginary mike to my mouth and scream, "Feel like makin'/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love to you." I even worked in a "Dunit, Dunit" air guitar move in the right places.

Roughly 20 years later, there's a new contender for my favorite sex song. This one is a secret, so I apologize to all I offend by letting this little pussy out the bag..."Love for the Sake of Love," by CB. The beat is a slow, driving 102 BPMs, and it sucks you in. Once you're there, floating above the beat, orchestral sweepings of violins and flutes chime in, and you feel like you're touching the clouds. The first word she whispers, after a teasing 2 minutes and 45 seconds of song has passed is the sultriest, "You." And then a, "You and me, Babe." It kills me every time I play it.
But if I had to pick my favorite, number-one make-out album, like, put-it-on-and-let-it-ride-style? Led Zeppelin II. No hesitations. Christine Renee, DJ

Sigur R??s
Agaetus Byrjun (FatCat)

Jeans Team
Ding Dong (Kitty Yo)

File these under sexy, indistinguishable foreign vocals that won't disrupt a make-out session. Nice, calm, and pleasant. Hopefully, they will remind your man to gently kiss you and touch you softly, rather than try to ram his tongue down your throat and "grope" you. If you're going for a more S&M slap-me-on-the-ass sort of make-out, then you definitely might want to shy away from anything in the sweet.

Truthfully, though, anything by Sigur R??s is good make-out music. Lots of strings, sound effects, and falsettoed foreign vocals. Sometimes, when you want to make out, you don't want to get distracted by the lyrics of a song that you could potentially sing along to, and Sigur R??s is there to lull you into make-out mode, free from lyrical singability and sonic abrasiveness.

Jeans Team is a lovely bunch of German fellows, who make sweet-sounding electronic music that you can chill out to. I keep this one handy, just in case I can't think of anything better at the time. Although, beware, it gets a little freaky and super techno at times, so if you have a remote nearby, you might want to hit the occasional skip, or actually, just start at Track 3, and you should be fine. Marisa Brickman

TV on the Radio
Young Liars (Touch & Go Records)

Surprisingly, not all make-out albums make good make-out soundtracks. A lot of rock albums work well for watching people make out in the movies, but when put to use after a candle-lit dinner at home, the mood they create is more dive bar, less muff dive. But put on Young Liars by TV on the Radio and you can almost picture yourself sucking face on the silver screen. The deep vocals and constant beats make it a such a high energy and intense album that it won't work in just any situation:
-Do not use for a post-fight make-up make-out.
-Do not use with someone you are shy around.
-Do not use if you're only planning on going to first base.

The only drawback: it's too short. Make sure you're prepared with an equally intense album that will maintain the mood, like their full-length follow-up "Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes." Jessie Bodzin, Heeb Magazine ///