THE BLOOD BROTHERS /// CRIMES /// V2 RECORDS ///

I read an article today about a band with a parrot on vocals- a death metal band with a Congan African Gray parrot named Waldo as the lead singer. And you know what I thought to myself? That's gotta sound better than this Blood Brothers disc.

Can you imagine the voice from Ween's "Push th' Little Daisies" singing a forty-minute swan song? Subtract the sugary goofiness and throw in a nasty streak as wide as your grandma's panties- that is Crimes in a damned, little nutshell. Mash it up in a hardcore frenzy not seen since this side of Atari Teenage Riot, and you've got Crimes, the latest offering from the Brothers.

Explosive guitar squalls and skronks litter the album. They form a hurricane of noise that blends with a lumbering bassline, lurching drums, and lead singer/shrieker Jordan Billie's vocal chord-shredding convulsions. Supposedly, this is their most song-oriented album to date. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell exactly where the so-called songs begin and end. They are all so chaotic as to be virtually indistinguishable from one another. I'm not even sure you can really call them songs-they sound like aural representations of grand mal seizures that convulse themselves into unmitigated comas. Even the pseudo-baroque additions of organ intros and typed-out piano interludes can't lend the album an air of elegance or coherence.

This album does serve a few purposes, though. Pleasure? Lord, no. However, if you are looking to clear out those lingering party guests who would otherwise sleep face down on your newly vomit encrusted futon, this is the album for you.

Benjamin Haas